Are kids compatible with running a business?

Natasha Page had two kids while building an agency

I’ve always wanted kids, but most importantly, I want to be able to spend as much time as possible with them and be a present father. Now, a full-time job is in direct conflict with this. It does provide stability, but usually, it provides very little flexibility.

It’s been two months since my first was born, and I’m honestly stressed out about going back to freelancing. I know I’ll figure it out, but still, one of my biggest fears is being a busy father who doesn’t take the time for his family.

That’s why it’s reassuring to see people like

Natasha Page

(

Mother Entrepreneur

) who makes it work having kids and running her copywriting agency.

I’m quite excited to have her on for an interview. Whether you’re a parent or not, you’ll go away with something valuable.

Let’s dig in!

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A realistic balance between motherhood and business

As you deconstruct some of the motherhood narratives going around, what narratives do you feel are lacking in the entrepreneurship conversation online? I’d love to hear what parts you think are left out or misrepresented and would benefit from being clarified. I’m especially curious about your thoughts on the narratives that are lacking relating to being a parent and an entrepreneur.

Natasha Page: ​​There is a lot of misrepresentation online in relation to what it is like to be a parent and entrepreneur, most damaging are the portrayals of "boss-moms” which often paint an unrealistic picture of what is involved in running a business whilst raising children. 

I think it is particularly important to highlight how all-consuming motherhood is in the early years (0-5) and how difficult it can be to juggle the demands of that role whilst attempting to stay relevant in business.

In my experience, it is not possible to have it all, all at once – and I suspect that is the case for the majority of “ordinary” mothers.

When I first started in business, I was naive. I romanticised sitting at the laptop whilst my son played happily alongside me, but the reality was very different. I found it impossible to have super focused work time when I was caring for my son. It led to a lot of stress, guilt, resentment and confusion as to where my priorities should be. Externally, the world made me feel as though motherhood was thankless and that earning money was the most important objective. 

There was a lot of trial and error during that time to figure out what arrangement worked for the family. I experimented with daycare, and in hindsight, though it was useful for me, I don’t think it was the best decision for my son. There are consequences to outsourcing child care that I wasn’t aware of intellectually (despite instinctually feeling that it was strange to pay someone else to care for my son.) Needless to say, with my second child in tow, I’ve learned to trust myself and have chosen to scale back work pursuits and surrender to this season of motherhood so that I am putting the needs of my child before the desires of my own.

I don’t wish to assert my ideals onto anyone else, but equally, I want to shed light on the reality of being a “mumpreneur.” Going all in on business means less time at home with children, and on the flip side, prioritising parenting means forgoing an element of professional success. There can be a balance, but it’s down to the individual family to work out a favourable arrangement for them. 

It’s important for mothers to remember when they’re seeing other women who seem to “have it all” that they should apply context to that particular image. Some women built their businesses before motherhood, some women have massive support systems and teams and for either there are unavoidable trade-offs.

I’ve come to accept that though the early years are intense, they're also precious and fleeting, and for me, prioritising my children doesn’t mean giving up on entrepreneurial dreams but instead about exploring those passions in the margins of time available. It takes away a lot of the pressure.  

Children grow, and as they enter school, more time becomes available, and I am confident that making incremental steps in business now will pay off in the long run – I want other mothers to take comfort in that, too. We’re running a different kind of race to other entrepreneurs. 

How to weather the storms

Life has a funny way of throwing challenging experiences at us when we least expect them. In entrepreneurship and motherhood, I’m sure you get your fair share of challenges that come out of left field. The goal is to turn them around so we don’t stay on autopilot for too long and remain intentional in our decisions. You wrote a bit about resilience, so I’m curious, how do you prepare for these challenging situations so you’re resilient when they happen?

Natasha: I can’t say I’ve found a way to prepare for unforeseen circumstances (even now after many difficulties appearing seemingly out of nowhere, I still find myself perplexed).

However, I’ve gotten better at dealing with them. It’s like exposure therapy. 

I want my default outlook to be to expect difficult things to happen as they’re an inevitable part of life, but to continue to face them head on so that I can become more accustomed to overcoming them. 

Generally speaking, I think it helps me to reframe the challenges. Instead of wondering why they’re happening to me, I attempt to look for the lessons or the growth in them. I know that may sound a tad clique, but I’ve found the more challenges I overcome, the more resilient I become. The old adage that if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger is certainly true if you adopt the right attitude. 

That's one of the beauties of having children; you have a new perspective on time – it slows down and speeds up simultaneously and so you’re always shown that a new day must come, and that things have to keep moving. With 2 children under 4 I have less time to dwell – there is work that needs doing, and little people who need tending to, and that means I have to choose resilience (even at times where I want to drop to the floor and give up.)

In business, I try to be quite solution-focused. Consider what the actual problem is and avoid spiralling too far into a self-sabotaging mindset, and figure out a tangible solution. Being that I am often low on time, this often looks like reaching out to others for assistance. 

In my role as a mother, the challenging situations often require more emotional self-management. I need to ensure I’m stable and find coping mechanisms so that I can show up and take on unforeseen events. The oxygen mask theory has never made more sense to me than it does now as a parent. 

Across the board I’ve come to recognise that there are many things we do to ourselves, or I certainly have done to myself, which makes everything worse. A bad diet, late nights, lack of outdoors all have detrimental consequences and so having a pretty solid foundation to build on helps you to weather the storm. 

I’m a work in progress for sure, but a committed one.  

Running after a better version of ourselves

When we think about quitting our jobs, we’re thinking that there’s something more for us. Some bigger version of ourselves than we can fulfill. Obviously, there’s some work to be done to get there and it can get quite lonely. But my question for you is, what does the higher version of yourself look like right now? With everything going on in your life at the moment, what’s your approach to fulfilling it? Balance or all-in?

Natasha: As I read your question, the main theme that came to the forefront of my mind is the idea of self-mastery.

The highest version of myself is someone who can keep a level head in the most difficult and challenging circumstances. I am way off, but that’s what I aspire to be. 

As Jordan Peterson puts it, I want to be the “strongest person at my father’s funeral”. To be a steady force means to mitigate the risk of problems becoming much worse than they need to be. 

This applies across all areas of my life: 

• I want to offer a strong, reliable, respectful and loyal romantic partnership.

• I want to model composure and reserve in the face of pressure.

• I want to do hard things that challenge my perceptions of self, this is specifically true when it comes to my relationship with food, health and work.

My approach to fulfilling this highest vision of self is primarily to remain as self-aware as possible. I am open to criticism, I want people to be honest with me and I want to lead with truth. It’s a daily practice – one which will keep me occupied for life I'm sure. Having two sons makes it all the more important to me. 

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If you’re a parent, name one thing that changed your outlook on work. Let us know in the comments on Substack or reply to this email. I read and reply to everything ;)

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3 juicy links of the week

1. We need more calm companies

   1. Love the description of the calm company from Justin Jackson. That’s what I’m aiming for my own online businesses. Profitable companies that aim at making the employee’s and customers’ lives better while having some margin in terms of enjoying life. His definition is pretty close to what people call a lifestyle business. I want to go away from fabricated urgency and stress. I don’t have the time nor the mental space for it anymore.

2. The Truth About FIRE - Is Early Retirement Actually Possible?

   1. Great video from The Plain Bagel. I don’t know about you, but I can’t get bored. I can’t sit straight. I always feel there is something I need to do. That’s a deep belief I hold, we are made to contribute and be active until the end. It’s fine to take a break after an intense period. But making the break indefinite sounds wrong to me. What do you think?

3. A 20-year side project with only $500/month cost, sold for millions

   1. Apart from the catchy title, I like this article because it shows how serendipitous the founder found the idea. The idea is not exciting or extraordinary. It’s a simple one and through sustained effort it continuously grew. It’s interesting to see how luck played a big part and I’m assuming the long tenure helped to capitalize on those random lucky moments.

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